2nd Journal for Effective Small Groups (Summer, 2018)


Day 11 (June 1st) - Spiritual Fellowship

“Have I had experienced a spiritual fellowship with other believers?”, which was a question raised in the classroom. I must admit that I couldn’t find a home group in my church with the same level of spiritual fellowship with what I had experienced in my college years. In college years, I lived with nine other brothers in a CRU-sponsored fellowship house, where we grew strong bounds through daily prayers, constant meal sharing, and weekly Bible studies. 

We shared our lives together. We shared joyfulness over a new understanding of the Bible. When someone struggled in a relationship, we listened and prayed for him. When someone had doubts, we accompanied him while he searched for answers. We also served together in choir, traveled on the same mission trips, and shared witnesses at Christian camps. Through our shared experience, we learned how to love God, love others and love our neighbors

Day 12 (June 3rd) – Seize the Right Moment

We had a coffee gathering at Starbuck’s the other night[1]. One student opened up and said, “I am not sure if my faith is mine or is the one that my family and my church implanted in me.” Although we were still discussing the book “Counter Culture” by Platt, I seized the moment and asked, “why made you think of that?” He shared his testimony. I realized that he is one of the “church kids” who grew up entirely in a Christian environment and never actually stepped out of the “faith zone”. 

Many people might consider him lucky because he didn’t have to go through the struggle in finding the truth, but eventually, he might need a life changing experience as much as other non-Christians do. Faith is not about conformation, it’s not about being a “good kid”. Faith is about transformation. Dallas Willard once said, “The main thing God gets out of your life is not the achievements you accomplish. It's the person you become, because that’s what you take with you to the eternity.” It’s time to revisit our faith.

Day 13 (June 11th) – Tyre Woman

One night at my home group, we were studying the Tyre woman who pleaded Jesus to heal her demon possessed daughter[2]. When learned that Jesus was calling her a dog[3], someone protested and said, “Why Jesus was so mean to her? was Jesus a racist?” Great questions. I don’t think Jesus was a racist, but, why Jesus said that to her.  

Coincidentally, I just learned that Ezekiel prophesied the destruction of Tyre because of their growing proud out of their wealth, even to the point that they called themselves gods[4]. It seemed that the Canaanites in Tyre area were still more prosperous economically compared to the mountainous people (Jews) in Jerusalem at Jesus’ time. Jesus might have used a common slang to test her faith and see if she was willing to humble herself and put her trust totally on Jesus. She passed His test. Jesus said to her “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.”

Day 14 (June 16th) – Tour Guide or Trip Advisor?

What is small group leader’s role? O’Neal used a Safari tour guide story to tell us that a small group leader is not a Bible teacher, a facilitator, or a host. Instead, a small group leader “prepares for small group meetings and leads group members through the essential activities of those meetings in submission to the Holy Spirit.”[5] He pointed out that a tour guide walked along side with group members in the field, and a tour agent just passed out brochures and arranged logistics from an air-conditioned office. 

I like what O’Neal said, “Your job is not to help people memorize interesting facts about God, the Bible, or church history. Your job is not to get people to debate those interesting facts. Your job is not to provide a comfortable place for people to do the debating.” We felt more comfortable staying on the safe side of the house through learning and debating the Biblical facts. Seldom did we venture into the messy side of the house – a direct encounter with the life-changing truths like sin, faith, temptation, and love. Indeed, an effective small group is not just a successful execution of a Bible knowledge transfer, we want to have the first-hand encounter with the Holy Spirit in every corner of our lives.    

Day 15 (June 17th) – Is Learning Style Important?

O’Neal highlighted the importance of understanding and applying learning styles for an effective small group, which I do not fully appreciate. Understand that we may adjust our teaching style and create group experience based on the group members’ learning styles to help them learn and process information better.[6] However, where is the Holy Spirit coming to play if we run small groups (or churches) like we run corporate America? 

Grouping people into five styles (visual, auditory, reading/writing, kinesthetic and multi-model learners) makes managing them easier, because we can apply the packaged solutions to everyone in the same style. However, as Zempel pointed out, “community is not linear.”[7] Everybody is different, every group is unique, and every messiness presents a challenge to the whole group, and that’s where the Holy Spirit comes in and that’s how we experience God’s provision of the spiritual gifts to the group – people received different gifts to help others, so that we will become more like Jesus. If the focus is on the learning style, I think we are confined to a fixed opportunity.     

Day 16 (June 20th) – Is Lacking Hospitality a Sin?

O’Neal argued that the first step of a Biblical and robust hospitality is repentance,[8] but I just couldn’t comprehend it. Is lacking hospitality a sin? I understand that he may be trying to make a point on the importance of the hospitality, but suggesting a repentance seems to imply that lacking hospitality is a sin, but is it? Before I attempt an answer to this question, I want to find out what O’Neal defined hospitality. 

First, O’Neal distinguished between the physical interactions with the guests and a deeper level of affection with the guests within the context of a shared home or a common meal[9]. From the surface, both may display the same level of activities, including the cleaning of the house, sharing the meal, and displaying signs of welcoming, but at a much deeper level, a Biblical hospitality shows “an attitude of service and self-sacrifice.” He continued to say, “It’s a willingness to offer our time, money, energy, food and even our home in an effort to love our neighbors as ourselves.”[10] Now I realized that O’Neal was talking about the natural extension of loving God. If we don’t have that level of affection, hospitality becomes a mechanical and selfish-motivated social norm. I agreed we do need to repent.    

Day 17 (June 24th) – Myth or Merit?

How do we promote unity in a church while small groups don’t mix people from different cultural backgrounds? It has been a challenge at our church for decades. With more than 30 small groups, they are largely separated by languages and people groups. Rarely did I see a small group comprising people from different cultural backgrounds. Although we all attend the same Sunday services, but everyone snatches back to his or her own culturally-distinguished small groups. As a result, we have no interactions across the cultural line.

From Luke’s account in Acts, we’ve seen racial issues within the early churches. The Greek-speaking widows were neglected on their daily provision. The Apostles had to choose seven deacons to take care of their needs. It seemed that they had a predominately Jewish church mixed with people with Hellenic background, where the Judean tradition and culture might have made other non-Jewish believers feeling alienated. We can see that tension from Paul’s arguing with Jewish Christians from Jerusalem over observing the Mosaic laws. What I see here is a potentially self-righteous small group (or church) if we don’t mix people with different cultures. We may not have a chance to practice tolerance, acceptance, and love with people who are not like me.   

Day 18 (July 7th) – Shared Experience Improves or Impairs Unity?   

Our church’s Chinese Retreat is one of the biggest events in our church calendar every Summer. Over 200 Chinese-speaking brothers and sisters, along with their children and teenagers, gathered in a retreat camp listening to big-name speakers to preach heart-felt messages. Over the past 20 years, it creates a strong bounding within the Chinese congregation, but at the same time, it also challenges the unity within the church, since there is no same level of shard experience with the English-speaking congregation.

 Shared experience can be a great catalyst within a group, but at the same time, it can become a huge huddle in the overall small group ministry. For example, through festivals like Passover, Jewish people developed a strong identity, a corporate bounding, and a common memory, but at the same time, it created a huge dividing wall with other people. To achieve the church unity, we need a shared experience outside of the regular Sunday services and we will need every church body, people group, and age group to participate in this shared experience. What can be a church-wide shared experience? I think a church-wide retreat may be a good candidate to provide such an opportunity to create this common memory.


[1] I served as a leader to the Senior High School group in our church’s Youth ministry.
[2] Matthew 16
[3] Matthew 15:26, Jesus replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
[4] Ezekiel 26
[5] O’Neal, Sam, “Field Guide for Small Leaders” (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2012), 32.
[6] O’Neal, Sam, “Field Guide for Small Leaders” (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2012), 57.
[7] Zempel, Heather, “Community is Messy” (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2012), 107.
[8] O’Neal, Sam, “Field Guide for Small Leaders” (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2012), 42.
[9] O’Neal, Sam, “Field Guide for Small Leaders” (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2012), 40.
[10] O’Neal, Sam, “Field Guide for Small Leaders” (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2012), 42.

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